so this is totally my last entry. 

xanga, you fucking suck.

2years ago was when i first got one of these things. xanga was the one escape from the judgemental eyes that follow me everywhere. now, apparently, everyone and their freakin brother has one of these stupid things. the place that used to be somewhere to meet really cool people just like you, has turned into this super cliche, super lame site.

Bah xanga. Piss on you. However, I love all you guys. My friends on here that read my site religiously and that I have grown to love. Thanks. You guys rock.

ill end with a song i recently wrote. emo emo emo i know.

FIGURINE SEVENTEEN

I was once a girl

Afraid of boys like you

Who would touch me and make me feel

Who would look inside,

Not like what they find

Kiss me, then leave me behind.

I always knew

That my mother was right

When she told me to settle down

“You’ll never find love, til you stop looking around”

Then she held me all through the night 

I was porcelain, I was frail

Figurine Seventeen

But I put on my makeup

And I put on my heels

Ignored her and walked out the door.

I rolled my eyes, got in my car

Drove all night, but didn’t get far

I turned up my music and turned up my charm,

And stayed out till I thought I found love

You wooed me with your boyish charm

You kissed me hard in the rain

You treated me fair

You listened well

You stayed cooped up in your shell

You put my emotions through hell

I was porcelain, I was frail

Figurine Seventeen

I laid it right down

In front of your brown eyes

So you could look and see the real me

But your newborn eyes

Were too naïve to see

That there was a change going on inside me

I put it all out on the table for you

Hoping that you would open up too

I tried and tried and I looked in your eyes

Looking for the words I love you

But your body said things your heart didn’t mean

As an impassive boy of only nineteen

I was porcelain, I was frail

Figurine Seventeen

I was porcelain, I was frail

Figurine Seventeen

I was porcelain, I was frail

Figurine Seventeen

Porcelain (ceramic)

Frail (easily broken)

Figurine. Seventeen.

Figurine. Seventeen.

lotta ex and whole lotta oh's...

.karen.

____________________________________________________

damn. It is like....I don't know, fucking march of 05 now. Its amazing how much my life has changed. I just stopped by to check it out. That is the worst poem ever. Oh my God. I really should just inject lethal poisen into my skull.

That boy I wrote that about, ha. What a keeper. Sike. Ive gone through another shitty boyfriend since then. I really just keep attracting them I guess.

If you want to see something super funny, check out my first xanga. Username is FutchFutch. Thats some funny shit right there.

Maybe I'll update this thing if someone dies or some shit like that. Otherwise, this site is possibly the most pathetic thing other than myturf.

Oh and to Providence. A warm Fuck You. All you lame ass 9th and 10th graders, get a life. You aren't cool at all really. Hugs and kisses.

To the IV: I love you girls.

Currently Playing They're Only Chasing Safety By Underoath Reinventing Your Exit see related

everything still rocks!!! life is still going amazing. music has been my main entertainment. i have gone to about 10steadlur shows in the past month. they never get old.

work is awesome. i work at Chocolate off of 85'sShallowford exit. i love everyone i work with. i got my hair done again at Toni&Guy. they are doing another model cut on me in a few weeks. but here is my new hair. i am wearing a dress that goes kinda low, i am wearing a shirt, so my apologies for any misinterpretations...

ive met a lot of cool new people. my friendships have extended to so many musicloving kids.

school starts up on the 9th. bah to that. i still have 2art projects for ap art & two books to read. mmm yessuh. lindy, lacey, kacy & i will be going camping in Helen, Georgia next week before school starts. this is our last summer in highschool. except for kacy, but she's still cool. =)

daniel is amazing. i hope he never sees this cause it would embarrass him. if however, you are reading this, you are the greatest thing that has ever entered my life. you balance me out completely. i want to use the word love, but 'i love you' is so powerful. i am crazy for you. everything about you. i cant get enough of you. i still get butterflies when you show up on my front porch. when we kiss, i still feel sparks flying. there is so much i hold back. if i could i would lock myself in a room with you and never leave. i cant stop loving you. but most of all, i love that you feel the same way. that you love on me, adore me, and go so out of your way for me. daniel bruce, your amazing. nothing short of Gods gift to me.

i have not felt this good in a long time. my life seems close to perfect. thank you God for everything. thank you, thank you. I love you. until next time...

mood: i fucking love my life

ps: Billy Talent rocks live.

Currently Playing Ima Robot By Ima Robot Dirty Life see related

...wow. amazing. i have lost all interest in this thing. all of providence decided to join in & get me in trouble at school, so i found something else. but to those that i am leaving behind, i do apologize. hopefully you have my number and we can get some coffee. 

here's a few updates

i have made my life what i want it. everything i have ever hoped for i now have. my life is straight, my friends are people i could trust with anything, any my boyfriend is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

went to new york. it rocked.

i dumped Aaron. he was doing a lot of drugs that i thought he was getting over. He basically decided he didnt want to turn his life around & wanted to fuck up his life. he was a great guy, but he just went downhill. im still friends with him, but i could never date him again. he's too far gone now.

fuck drugs. that silly opium/pot addict boy.

i got a NEW boyfriend, Daniel. this one is ideal. i met him through some really cool kids. he's had like one relationship before, just like me & has kissed very very few people. he's never had sex, and he is a giant teddy bear. he's a doll. im crazy about him & i let go of a lot of negative things in my life that threatened our relationship. he's a keeper.

looking like a badass.

---that makes up Steadlur. my baby is on the far left.

--playing in the water like a kid.

i leave wednesday for a wedding that takes place on saturday. i return saturday night to leave early sunday morning for my 2and a half week trip to australia. i dont know if i can be away from lacey and daniel that long. but it'll be a great oppurtunity.

this summer has been the best summer of my life. i am so happy. i have never been so happy in my life. i honestly can not think of the last time i have cried (other then movies, or for my brother kenny). God is so great. geez. he's given me all i have ever wanted....true happiness.

lacey, kacy, me. best friends forever.

i love you guys. thank you for always being here. i love every fuckin one of you.

until next time......

.karen.

Currently Playing Hot Fuss By Killers All These Things That Ive Done see related

im freakin sick of this xanga crap. i so have something far better.  maybe if anything noteworthy occurs ill let you know. otherwise, goodbye.

blink 182 last night rocked. got backstage, got on the tour bus, and got pit.  lacey kacy aaron and i are the shiz.

later whores.

...hello lovelies...

this weekend was crazy.

Friday was prom. the dance sucked, but Aaron was the best. he wore a pink shirt & tie. it was adorable. We left and went to Stephen's lake house with the seniors. everyone liked Aaron alot, which was good to know. everyone likes him really.

Saturday was my birthday. whoop whoop. I got money to spend in New York city when i go with Kacy May 15th from my parents. saturday night i went to Roberts house for a joint birthday party. TONS of people there. haha. Chase told a wonderful story. Mary Ellen got me a cute little umbrella, candy, and awesome sunglasses. Chase & Matt got me a build-a-bear kuala (spelling?) wearing boy underwear. They got it because it had this horrible laugh that they claim sounds just like me.  Kacy & Lacey pitched in and bought me a money holder =), mac makeup, an old Death Cab albumn.

now for the part everyone will ask about....THE FIGHT.

its worth the read

it shouldnt have happened, but it did. Aaron's ex got her army boyfriend to fight him.(i want to pause and discribe the ex. She is a fifteen year old who told aaron she was seventeen and without a boyfriend when they dated. both were lies. she's a wanna be badass punkrocker who was trash talking every one there. she has nothing of worth, and therefore takes her problems on others...)  dislocated his shoulder & pinned him on the ground. when he was already down his ex goes over there and starts kicking him in the face & stuff.  lindy sees this, and pulls her off him. she said that she knew that if i saw her kick aaron, i would have kicked her ass. but that comes later...so the girl starts freakin out on lindy and gets one punch on her. lindy hit her in the jaw a solid two times.  i see this as i am approaching in my cute little birthday outfit consisting of a black and white dress, cute white bow, and adorable high heels. i knew i was about to get in a fight. i throw off my heels and approach her. i told her that no one fucks with my friends. i never take first punch, so i gave her free shot #1. i get hit in the eye and go crazy on her. i got a good 5punches on her face & one really solid one across her jaw. her friends pull her off. i am now sitting back chilled, not trying to fight her. i gently tell her, "wow you have alot of anger inside of you. i sense some real insecurities. do you have trouble at home maybe? cause if you do, we can go out back and talk about it, or you know, you could keep trying to take your teenage angst out on my face." she then asks me if i am crying. no, my mascara was running. as i lean over telling her this, i point to my eye with my middle finger up. then comes cheap shot #1. i took it. didnt fight that one back. she then starts saying how she wants to have "one more shot" at me. I assure her that it wont make her feel any better, she wont gain the 'victory', but told her friends to back off and let her hit me. free shot #2. she hits me in my other eye. this time i fight back with a ring lacey gave me. It was a big black diamond held in place by four silver clasps. by the time i was done with this girl, there was no longer a black diamond, three silver clasps, a bent ring, and a gash across the girls face. here comes cheap shot #2. in what i assume to be panic, mrs avril lavigne grabs my hair. MY HAIR! What the fuck is that!!!! so, i grab her hair, wrap it around my hands, and pull with all the might i have in me.  our friends broke up the fight, but she still wanted to go. i didnt want to fight her, cause it was a fight that would never really be solved, but was willing to go again.  i kept smiling at her & blowing her kisses. she liked that alot. just to make sure everything was done, LACEY saves the day. she throws her hot coffee out into the crowd, but hits no one but chase.  what would we have done without her. lacey is the hero of the night. the fight came to an end. i have a bad bruise under my left eye, popped blood vessels around my right eye, scratches on my arms, and a booboo on my head where she pulled my hair. but its nothing compared to the Edward Scissorhands job she recieved. happy birthday to me.

lacey, matt, kacy, lindy, chase and i drove to Felini's at 1:00am to meet averso and cam.  afterwards Davidson called and invited us to play tag in our underwear at Centenial Park. He got me a birthday gift, but they had ended up leaving, so we couldnt go.

today i met up with chris and smith at McAlisters. came home, and now im getting bitched at by my parents.

thats all for now.

until next time...

mood: not good.

___________________________________________________

aaron went out of town this morning. and god, im missing you already. i hate not being able to see you. i hate this feeling. im afraid that you are going to stop liking me, cause baby you seem to good to be true. im crazy about you aaron gregory paul. crazy for you. remember what i told you that night that the fight went down? i pointed to my bruises and said "see this face? aaron, this is love". i ment every word. and i ment the kiss that proceeded it. i dont want to let this go. you treat me better then i have ever been treated in my life. you make me feel wonderfully, beautifully, and perfectly made. i need you so much closer...